Finally Some Fotos!

God's Mercy in the Sunrise

Every morning when my alarm goes off at 5am, I utter a groan. Now sometimes this only done mentally; other days it is entirely vocal. But what's important here is not the fact that I hate getting up before the sun, and that my first thought in the morning is often, "Where the heck is the snooze button?!". What's important are the thoughts and actions that follow. Will I commit to serving Christ today? Will I choose to look at this crazy experience as a challenging blessing, an opportunity to grow, or will I give into the temptation to have a bad attitude and look at the day ahead of me as something to get through? These questions are exceedingly important as I begin my day, because my answer tends to dictate much of how the rest of the day will unfold. Often I can't control the events of the day, but I can choose to glorify God in how I react to them. I was reminded last night during a wonderful women's Bible study that the mercies of God are new every morning. After dragging myself out of bed this morning, I had the opportunity to watch a beautiful sunrise over the mountains that surround us here, yet another reinforcement of the miraculous truth of God's mercy. The Holy Spirit then brought the following verse to my mind.

In Joshua 24:15, Joshua poses the following question and declaration to the Israelites:

¹⁵ But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (NIV)

We must make the choice daily to die to self and follow Jesus. Through my experience here at Casa Bernabe I have learned so much about the selfishness of my own human nature. So often I desire my own comfort over the needs of others; it is only through the grace of God and the gift of His Holy Spirit that I am able to reject my natural tendency and serve with a joyful heart. And so it is with all of us who choose to live in the Spirit. So be encouraged dear friends. He is faithful, and truly, His mercies are new every morning. I sincerely hope that this post is cohesive enough in thought to communicate what God is laying on my heart.

Never a Dull Moment

Welcome to life in Boy Land. This weekend I've been encargada of the house, and yesterday it was just me and my boys. Each one is incredibly unique, each with their own gifts and challenges, as is each day that I spend with them. In case you've wondered what exactly it is that I do here at CB, here is the fast run-down:

My job is part mom, part house-keeper, part nurse, part psychologist, and part teacher. I clean their cuts, dose out their medicine, feed them, pray with them, give them hugs, discipline them when they're bad, do chores with them, fold their laundry, play soccer with them, teach them English, hold them when they cry, and keep them from killing each other. It's awesome. I love my life with them. It's hard and I get frustrated, and I certainly don't always keep my patience perfectly, but I am so glad that God has given me the opportunity to be here with them. He is so good to me. Only He could have dreamed up this up for me. I'll be leaving CB in May to go back to the States for grad school in Occupational Therapy, and the fact that I can use this in the future to make a bigger difference in their lives is one of the few, albeit very good, reasons that keeps me from just staying here. I have no idea what the future holds, but thankfully I know who holds the future :)

I'll do my best to post some pictures of the boys and myself soon. Until next time dear friends, thank-you for your prayers and support. We serve an amazing God who hears us when we cry out to Him. Hallelujah.

My Heart is Full

God is so good to me and His Spirit is moving here in Casa Bernabe. One of His greatest blessings to me in the last few weeks here has been the morning prayer time we have every weekday at 7:30am. We come together to intercede for the children and teens here, to lift one another up to Jesus and to give glory and praise to God for all that He is doing. During these time of prayer and petition the Holy Spirit's presence with us has been so tangible, especially this morning. I felt Him stir my soul to praise Him and to fight for my boys who have been told so many lies. Every day they struggle with feelings of loneliness and a lack of self-worth; every day the devil tries to convince them that they are not worthy of love, that no one will ever really love them. The prayer of my heart today and for the rest of my time here is that the truth of God's love will shine through me into their lives, that when they look at me they wouldn't see the broken woman I am but only the presence of Jesus in my life. We serve an incredible God who is all-powerful, who is able and willing to fill the void in our hearts, to renew us and transform us into the image of His Son. Through the blood of the Son we can approach the throne of grace with confidence, that though we are broken and sinful, healing is truly possible in Jesus. I am so grateful for His invasion of my life, for His powerful reminder to me today that He truly is enough for me, no matter what the future brings. Whether or not I get into grad school, whether or not the things I've wanted for so long ever come to fruition, He is enough for me. More than enough. He is more than enough to heal the wounds on my heart and on the hearts of my boys. Please join me in interceding for them before the throne of God. May all the glory, honor and praise be to our God forever and ever.

God is Doing Big Things!

Last night we had a full staff meeting. Now, staff meetings by their nature are not always particularly arresting, usually full of details and notes to take. Well there were plenty of details and notes to take last night. But it was also incredibly challenging and encouraging, full of exhortation and testimony about the vision that God has placed in the hearts of the staff here for this place. This was partially spurred by a documentary we watched entitled "Reparando", directed by Scott Owen Moore, which takes a very honest look at poverty and crime in Guatemala, how this came to be, and how God is calling people here who have grown up in horrible situations and is using them to show His love and glory. If you have the opportunity to watch this documentary, I would encourage you to do so. Here is the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIkkxVZh3_o We watched the whole thing, causing our staff meeting to go a bit late, but we wanted to screen it before possibly showing it to some of the older kids here so we would be prepared to answer their questions and reactions. Some of the kids here understand what it's like to live on the streets, others who have grown up here since they were infants have less understanding of the world outside Casa Bernabe. We want all of them to understand what it is to be blessed; we want to understand this ourselves. We want them to recognize the power of God to change lives and hearts and how they can live joyfully in Christ without fear. We want to be a part of the process of God teaching them how to love. It doesn't matter how awesome our school is here and how much knowledge we give them if we aren't actively demonstrating the love of Christ to them. As always, there is a great deal of spiritual warfare going on here. Satan desires to prey on the insecurities and wounds of these children to make them believe that they are not worthy of God's love. Please, please pray that these lies would have no place here and that mighty victories would be achieved here through the love of Jesus.

To God be the Glory.

Emily

New Year, New Challenges, New Blessings

Hello!

I realize that it has been a long time since I have written here, and for that I am sorry. One of my New Year's resolutions is to write an entry for this blog every week. It may not always be long or beautifully written, but I think it's important for me to at least be posting prayer requests and praises about the goings-on here at Casa Bernabe. God is always doing so much here, and that deserves testimony. I just arrived back here at CB from spending the holidays with my family, which was really wonderful and relaxing. I also got to spend a lot of time with friends baking cookies, having dance parties, drinking coffee, bridesmaid dress hunting and a variety of other fantastic things. My last Sunday at church I was able to share a little bit of what God's been teaching me and what I did as a part of the ministry here at Casa Bernabe. Throughout this vacation I received so much encouragement - an incredible blessing! Now that I'm back I'm looking forward to settling in and figuring out a new routine here. The next 4 months that I will be here will be a bit different than the first 3. First of all, I'm moving into my new house this afternoon, Casa Nueva Esperanza, or House of New Hope which is home to boys ages 9-12. I will be working as the apoyo (support or helper) and as an English teacher in the school. While switching into this house will undoubtedly be a new challenge, I've already been really encouraged by the house parents, who have both been very welcoming and eager to communicate. Please pray that we continue to communicate well and that we will be able to build a successful partnership that brings glory to God and provides the boys with the most love and wisdom possible. Please pray also for wisdom and creativity as I talk with the school principal this week about how we are going to schedule my English classes and the form they will take. The overwhelming theme of my time serving here in Casa Bernabe has been the faithfulness of God in all situations. He is awesome and powerful and He has a purpose for this place and for me being here. Surely "it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes" Psalm 118:8-9. Amen!

Trusting in His Love,

Emily

Thanksgiving and How We Break God's Heart

First of all, my apologies for being a tad slow in bringing this latest post to life! However, I have a good reason for this, which I will now endeavor to explain. Here at Casa Bernabe there is a special celebration for El Dia de Gracias, aka Thanksgiving. Now this is not your typical American Thanksgiving by any stretch of the imagination. First of all, Guatemalans don't generally celebrate Thanksgiving for obvious reasons, but Casa Bernabe has adapted the holiday a tad. Here they use it as an opportunity to put on a big show as a thank-you to Jesus and all of the donors and sponsors who make this ministry possible. So what is my part in all this you might ask? Well, I have stepped into the role of co-choreographer of a dance including some of the older girls here, to the song "With Everything"/ "Con Todo" by Hillsong. Here are the links to both the Spanish and English versions - we are obviously using the Spanish version :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhIPaW9v-3g & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSCE8uLuTJY. It's a beautiful song, and it's an incredible blessing to share my love of dance with these girls, none of whom have ever had the opportunity for any dance training. The message of the song has special meaning for me right now too because it talks about how darkness trembles in the light of God and how mighty and awesome His power is. I have felt that power in my life in a tangible way this last month (yes I have now been here for a month!) in inexplicable ways, and often I don't realize it until afterwards. He has been teaching me so much. I feel that God has laid it on my heart to share a rather difficult example of this. Last week there was one day where I was taking care of all the kids by myself, and while the majority of the day went smoothly, the afternoon was pretty rough. The kids are all supposed to nap after lunchtime, but a few of them kept getting all the others worked up, which amounted to 16 angry tired children and no down time for me. After this lovely episode, one of my kids threw a huge fit when I told him I had to discipline him for behaving so badly. I had to restrain him because he was screaming and hitting me, and it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Basically, I looked him straight in the eye and told him I loved him but that actions have consequences and that he could either accept this fact and calm down or continue freaking out and make things worse. Well he chose option 1 after about 15 more minutes of screaming, but while all this was going on and I thought my heart would break I was so upset, I cried out to God "Is this what I make you feel like when I disobey?"

I wrote the following in my prayer journal the next day:

"When John* (name changed because of privacy laws here) threw that temper tantrum yesterday and I had to physically restrain him from hitting me I thought my heart would break tand that I would burst out crying in front of him. Is that what it feels like when we sin against you Lord? When I rebel and refuse to do what You know is best for me? It's probably worse, much worse, because Your discipline is perfect and You love us so much. Forgive me Father. You watched Your only Son die for an ungrateful selfish people that You might redeem us unto Yourself."

I don't think I've ever had such a clear understanding of how our sin breaks God's heart. It was an intensely humbling experience, and I'm still working through my heart/ thought process about the whole thing.

Well, I sincerely hope that this post was comprehensible and that it gives you the reader a clearer glimpse of how God is working on my heart here. His mercies are new every morning! November may prove a little trickier for me to be posting quite as often, as the house parents I work with will be on vacation and it will be myself and my Guatemalan friend Nora taking care of the house together full-time! As always, I covet your prayers, welcome your thoughts and greatly appreciate your encouragement. To God be the glory.